Run, You Runner!

Finally! I have started running for real! All it took was a race. A long (to me) hot, uphill race pushing 20 pounds of baby and stroller. But i finished it and loved it (after I was complete, of course!). Oh the pain the next day, but the only remedy was to go running again! I am determined to run the Mercedes half-Marathon in February!! But I will chroniclize this on another blog with my friend Bethany, because what's a goal without some blogging!!

I have been putting the houses within our house in order this past week. My what a dissarray they have been in! It feels fantastic and empowering to know what is going where and why. Not just organizationally but financially as well! Well mostly in the finance department. I am taking Crown Financial class at my old church. It's very similar to Dave Ramsey except maybe for Bibically focused? I say that not really knowin what D.R. is all about. But Crown has really opened up my eyes to what I need to do to get our finances in order. We are talkin BUDGET here, folks, for real. Not "Ohh, that's nice for the super organized poeple but i have my finances all summed up in my head. No this is really going to happen, because now that I am married there seems to be 2 different finances summed up in 2 different heads! None of that any more.

I made up the budget by using the percentages provided in the material based on the income. I'd have to say they were 75% correct. I am sure there are alot on line to get folks started. Of, course, you have to adjust them based on your lifestyle and what you would like to get them to. Oh and don't multiply the percents of the money spent by the gross income and instead of the net. Yeah.......it's a good thing I'm pretty....

After i figured all the amounts per month then it's super easy! Buying things become alot easier! As my Crown leader says "The budget becomes the enemy and not your spouse!"

My Heart is Breaking

I tried to not think about this, write about, or pretend all this exsist.

It breaks my heart of clay. Not unlike the time I found out my highschool small group leader was having an affair. The people you thought were solid, unwavering in their Christian commitment, cheerful for all the right reasons, fall. They fall so hard the noise and the dusty, dusty rubble, peirces you and chokes you. You wonder how could you not see, what were the signs of the fated fallen. Then you back away there is nothing you can do. They have chopped themselves down to a level you'd swore you'd never go to. All the things you want to say are swirling in your mind, their rebuttal, your response till your head is black inside with lines of communication all tangled up.

I want to say it for those who won't. Air out the dirtiest of laundry for all to gasp at. Watch the filthy water drip down to soil the earth.

But all I can do is pull closer and tighter the ones I love and release the rest into the threshold of forgiveness and the mercy of God.

Feeling Better...

The anger and sadness from yesterday days events are slowly washing away. I can be more in control about the events I am involved in. I don't want to make it seem i am unavailable to help, but different things come in to focus and have more of a priority when you have a family of your own.

Like right now, nothing is more important to me than to listen to Ava's coos and laughs while she sits uber happy in her Bumbo seat. It's just her and I right now. Keith went to watch the Auburn game down at his friend's house.

Earlier today she fell fast asleep in his arms while he slowly rocked her. They are so sweet together. She adores him.

I am sure it's to early to tell, but Ava prefers one-on-one time just like her mother. She likes to sit back and observe all those around her from a distance. It's amazing how much of her personality shines through even at 3 months!

I don't know if you remeber this, but

At one time you were all happy. At least in my mind, running around barefoot in the tall uncut grass, in the back lawn worn down to the dirt.

Last time I saw you it was like a bad break up. Shifted eyes, shuffling feet, lies about the future.

And right now, with a relentless stomach knot, I relax with robert mondovi and my amazing husband. I relish in the fact that God has no grandvhildren. Thank God for that...

Feeling relaxed, releived, and angry. They who deserve justice will recieve it.

A Fresh Start

Here is the begginning to a blog about my life.

What about the title?
Well originally it was going to be called "The Sculpted Egg" after a gift that my cousin got me from Iraq. It was a unique, beautiful gift. I attached to a cast iron of a hand for it to have a proper display.



I ended up calling it "The Sculpted Tree" because it seemed a better fit to the whole "here is my journey" through the perspective of growth through sculpting (shaping, molding, taking away to add beauty) and growth through, well, growing!

So here I am starting this blog to capture the things I learn in my life. I have definitely started a new chapter.


I have just quit my job to stay at home with this cute girl.




So far it has been wonderful! There was a period of adjustment in the beginning, but after that everything has been amazing! I have never felt an outpouring of love in such a short amount of time. I relish in each of her smiles and coos. She has been a very easy baby so far. I am really blessed in that regards.





Motherhood has been a big step of "oh my gosh, she is going to look to me for guidance and unconditional love." I am very excited about teaching her about life and all the things I love, and looking forward to what she is going to like and want to be involved in. But always being what she needs for me to be is a bit scary and very self-evaluating.

I would consider my self not as much needy, but wanting other people to be involved in my life by making them feel needed. Everyone I know has so much to offer and I want to learn from them. It's such a balance between being self-sufficient/reliant and letting people know you need them without feeling too needy. It's a fault I have of not being transparent and putting on a front. And it's a bit selfish. I want to be able to offer the people in my life all of me. What I know, encouragement, my time... everything. I want to teach her that, too.



Today her little eyes were just staring at me while I was cleaning her room. Such a close and careful observation of everything I did. What will I teach her unknowingly? Will she see me help someone in need or get unnecessarily angry?

I am overjoyed and clinging to God to guide me down this wonderful path...