My Heart is Breaking

I tried to not think about this, write about, or pretend all this exsist.

It breaks my heart of clay. Not unlike the time I found out my highschool small group leader was having an affair. The people you thought were solid, unwavering in their Christian commitment, cheerful for all the right reasons, fall. They fall so hard the noise and the dusty, dusty rubble, peirces you and chokes you. You wonder how could you not see, what were the signs of the fated fallen. Then you back away there is nothing you can do. They have chopped themselves down to a level you'd swore you'd never go to. All the things you want to say are swirling in your mind, their rebuttal, your response till your head is black inside with lines of communication all tangled up.

I want to say it for those who won't. Air out the dirtiest of laundry for all to gasp at. Watch the filthy water drip down to soil the earth.

But all I can do is pull closer and tighter the ones I love and release the rest into the threshold of forgiveness and the mercy of God.